you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The air taste purple.
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