Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
