True but thats because hes a fetus.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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