dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
