i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
