i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
