ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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