I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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