We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
everyone is single if you try hard enough
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
