He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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