You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I am midnight drunk by noon
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
