Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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