And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
40s are totally the cure
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
