Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
