Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
