Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
