You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
