my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
