I'm passing your future prison.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Verdict: uncircumcised.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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