hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I want to fling myself into the sun
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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