my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
