Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
