I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
