Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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