Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
