I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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