Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
