Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
