Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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