The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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