come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
