I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
