I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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