she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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