Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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