garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
