do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
