we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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