so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize