so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
