Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
