bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize