When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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