There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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