So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
