Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
