I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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