Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
In other news, I just burned my penis
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
