i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
