i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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